Camille Rapacz: Have you ever tried to help someone and things somehow went sideways? Sometimes we're so eager that we forget that our help is only useful when someone actually wants it. So do we have to just wait or hope that they're going to accept our help?
Or is there something that we can do that would make people more open to receiving our help? Whether you're trying to help a client, an employee, or a colleague, how you help can influence how it will be received.
Camille: Welcome to The Belief Shift. The show that explores. What you really need to know about building a successful business.
I'm your host, Camille Rapacz: business coach and consultant who spent too much of her career working in corporate business performance.
George: And I'm George Drapeau: your co-host and her brother. I'm a leader in the tech world bringing my corporate perspective, but mostly my curiosity.
Camille: Together, we're exploring beliefs about success and how to achieve it. But mostly we're bringing practical solutions so you and your business can thrive.
Camille Rapacz: Oh, hello, George. Hi, Camille. How many times a day are you trying to help someone at work?
George Drapeau: My smart alecky answer is all the time, constantly, but I don't think that's actually true.
Camille Rapacz: How we think we're showing up at work versus how we're actually showing up at work. Yeah.
George Drapeau: You know, I really don't know, but I'm a manager and I think a core part of a manager's function as a servant leader is to be helpful, to be there to help. And so if it's working right, then people are coming to me for like little micro helps here and there all the time. So I don't know. I mean, I'm guessing handfuls a day, but probably something every day.
Camille Rapacz: Yeah.
How's that? Something every day. That makes sense. I mean, I think if you're leading people, you probably should be helping people every day. That's pretty much your job. So I would be sad if you weren't trying to do that every day.
George Drapeau: Whether they want it or not. Wait, wait, wait. No, that's not the point.
Is it?
Camille Rapacz: Actually, whether they want it or not is kind of the point of today's conversation because last time in our last episode, we talked about why people resist seeking out or just receiving help. And because we had that conversation, of course, we now have to talk about, can we do something about this?
Can we actually help people be more receptive to receiving help from us?
Spoiler alert, yes, that's why this episode exists. If the answer was no, there would be no episode. So that's what we're gonna talk about.
Before we get into it, let's just quickly talk about what we mean by helping in this content, because that can mean a lot of stuff,
yeah. So in our context, we're talking about, you know, there's some examples of helping at work. We're talking about helping in the workplace. So maybe you're trying to help someone learn a new skill or solve a problem. Maybe you're helping them to create a plan or make a decision. So those are kind of some big general buckets.
What kinds of things do you usually help people with George?
George Drapeau: Translation and more generally communication. So, Hey, can you help me figure out how to understand what this person said? Our upper management or this person I'm communicating with or this other stakeholder, do you understand what they said by this? Translation?
That's common for me. Yeah.
Camille Rapacz: That's such a great one. A great example of something that you might not put on the normal list of things that you're supposed to do as you know, your job as the manager, as the boss. But yeah, helping people to like getting clarity, getting clearer understanding what's going on, translation, all of that stuff.
Super important.
George Drapeau: Adjusting to change, in all kinds of ways. Emotional comfort, listening, everything, just adjusting to change. Being able to recognize when somebody is having a problem with it, whether they ask or not, which I think I'm probably getting ahead of myself a little bit, but trying to sense, Hey, are you okay with this?
And what can I do to help you with this change?
Camille Rapacz: Yeah. That's a good one. It made me think of another one, which is , oftentimes when I was leading people, I was helping them strategize, like what's my right next move in order to achieve this goal I'm trying to achieve. Should I go this way, that way?
Like, what's my, what should my approach be here? Whether it's with a specific person or with a project, or there's always just helping them to think through what's the right next step?
George Drapeau: You know, as you're saying that I had a little short dialogue that had a question and the dialogue was with you.
And that was like, but what if I'm one of these managers who I'm not sure I'm great at strategy. So I'm not sure that's the kind of help I can offer. If only there were a podcast episode to talk about strategy, We talked about this and how anybody can think strategically and my wonderful sister has a framework for thinking about that.
That can be on the table, and not just for a few people.
Camille Rapacz: Absolutely. I do think that you can get better at this. Some people are more naturally inclined to think that way than others, but it's a skill you can learn. You can get better and improve on how you do that.
I had this experience the other day where I put this plan together for a client. And it was very simple and straightforward and, you could see it just on the screen in an Excel spreadsheet, really clear what they needed. And I showed it to them and they were just like, wow, my brain just doesn't work that way.
I realized, yeah, that's so interesting, but not everybody can translate information into that format. What I said to her was, but I can teach you. I can teach you how I got there and how to do that. So funny. So,
George Drapeau: I mean, I've known that about you since you were in elementary school. That's awesome.
Camille Rapacz: But I do know, I mean, even though it's sort of the way I normally think about things. It is also something that I've taught people over and over again, which is how to get better at that and how to think that way.
So it really gets back to our main topic, which is as we're, you know, all have skills and expertise in different areas that offers us the opportunity to help people who aren't as good at that yet and want to get better at it.
But there is a way to do it that will make people more receptive to receiving that help from you. So when you're helping them, it doesn't matter if this is a peer, colleague, a subordinate, or someone senior to you, like a boss, you're going to get this kind of resistance from all the levels.
So how do we do this in a way that they're more susceptible and less resistant?
I have to know what the face was about.
George Drapeau: Coming into somebody and saying, Hey, look, I just want to talk to you. I noticed that at work, there's this thing you seem to be particularly bad at.
You know that, right? you're no good at that. So why don't you let me help you with that?
Camille Rapacz: Okay. So we should start with the what not to do. Yeah. Don't George this out. Don't walk in and say, you know what? I'm just so much better at this than you. Just let me do it. Yeah. You're welcome. You really suck at that task.
Sadly, probably people listening to this have either had that done to them or have mistakenly done it themselves. I mean, we've all bumbled our way through trying to help somebody.
George Drapeau: Yeah, for sure.
Camille Rapacz: Because we get so excited. We're so eager to help people like, I just want to help you.
Can't you just let me do it? And we kind of forget about the person's how they might be seeing it, how they might be experiencing it. It's just easy to forget about what's going on in that other person's brain because you were just amped up and ready to help.
Yeah. For all good reasons.
All good reasons.
George Drapeau: Yeah. I'm messing it up.
That's why in our family we have this term 'helpy'. Yeah. You're not being helpful. You're being 'helpy', which means that I realize you're trying to help, but that's not doing what you think it's doing.
It's a good keyword for us that when we want to communicate, you're trying to help me, but that's not the help I need. I'm going to acknowledge that you're trying. And this is also the code word are kind of our stop word for saying, stop doing it.
Let's reset.
Camille Rapacz: Yes. So if you start giving me a, well, we'll have you tried this and have you enjoyed that. Thank you. I appreciate you being helpy, but, and then we move on. I love that you called that out.
So we're going to talk about how to not be helpy and instead be helpful. How do I be most helpful when I'm trying to help somebody? How do I do it in a way so that they can actually receive my help and not just turn their nose up at it. So I have listed, let's see, six things here.
As I go through it, George, you may have a story or an idea or a thought or something you want to add into this, but I'm going to walk through these and we'll just go through them. Okay.
So listener, I will drop these six things in the show notes. But you might want to take some notes because we might give some good examples.
So here we go. How to be a better helper. The first one on the list will not surprise any, at least I don't think if you've been listening to this podcast, this will not surprise you. The number one on the list is be curious. Before you help people be curious.
This gets back to like, we're so eager to help, we want so badly to just jump in and dump all our help on top of somebody that we're not even thinking about where that person is at in terms of how much do they trust us? How much do they actually want help? Are they still too stressed out? We just don't know what's going on. And we haven't even stopped to assess that.
So do not march in with all the answers before you understand their situation. Even if you think, you know, don't do it. Even if you think, I think I know exactly where George is at and what he needs. I should still walk in with curiosity and don't make any assumptions. Because sometimes the more you think you know about what a person is experiencing, the more likely they're going to be resistant to you because they see that you're instantly coming in with an even more of a higher status position of Hey, I know what you're dealing with.
I've got the answer. Like I've been through and it's sort of diminishing their experience in a way by you just coming in with like, Oh, been there done that here. Let me just offer you this answer. That can definitely cause resistance with somebody the more that you try to say you get it without even asking a question.
Yeah. So this is where you ask open ended questions and you want to be genuine. And do genuinely try to discover something about what they're going through that you don't already know. Yeah. That's the be curious example.
George Drapeau: One thing that made me think about was people who've gone through intense emotional experiences or people in recovery.
What they're experiencing is universal. Many other people in that section have heard those stories, have been through it before, but your experience is unique. Even though it relates to something universal that a lot of people in recovery understand, your experience is unique.
We all need to recognize the help you need is particular to you. Even if I think I know all about it, I don't know exactly what your journey is. That's right. Yeah. I totally agree with you. The, the more I think I know about your journey, the less I'm really going to get your journey. Absolutely.
Camille Rapacz: Absolutely.
That's right. That's absolutely right. And even to the point of both of you could have had a shared experience. So say you heard some sort of mandate in a meeting, and you were both in the same meeting, and you heard it come out of the boss's mouth. And now you both have to go. You're tasked to now go do something just because you both heard the same words out of that person's mouth doesn't mean you have interpreted them the same way or that they are affecting you in the same way because you have different experiences you're bringing into it.
So even if you feel like, you know, cause you were there, it doesn't mean you really know.
George Drapeau: Completely. Yeah. Be
Camille Rapacz: curious. It's the solution to most of the problems of the world.
Number two is also somewhat related, but I think it's important to add to the be curious part that you need to have empathy and work on connection.
So realizing that what might seem like maybe a simple, straightforward problem to you could be really stressful to someone else. So very much related to what we were just talking about. My experience won't be your experience. So seek to understand how they're feeling, not just what's going on with them, but can you.
A little bit put yourself in their shoes in terms of how they're feeling about this scenario, maybe why they might be feeling stressed, why they might be resisting. And also understanding them from the perspective of what do they actually take pride in? Because remember, sometimes it's our pride in ourselves that causes us to resist getting help.
So what is it that they take pride in about themselves? Some skills, expertise, or knowledge. The more that you know about those things, the easier it will be for you to navigate through and offer them help..
George Drapeau: I love that. It's perfect. Hugely important.
Camille Rapacz: That's number two, empathy and connection. Okay.
Number three is to be specific and clear in your offer of help. This shows up in marriage counseling quite a bit. You probably have had this as well, where just showing up with like, how can I help?
And it's not helping at all. Because your spouse is just overly stressed. Sometimes we are at a level of stress or some other, you know, emotional state that we just don't have the mental capacity to actually determine what we need help with. So asking, how can I help
it's more helpy than helpful.
George Drapeau: Oh, this is interesting. I'm hearing this one. I am feeling guilty because I think I'm guilty of this specific thing all the time, every context. I ask it of friends. I ask it of my spouse. I ask it at work and you're right. I know better. I like being specific about statements, compliments, feelings, I prefer that.
You're helping me out here. This is something where I could definitely be better because I often say like, Hey, I will do it. I'll do anything you want me to. I don't know what you need. How can I help? It feels good to say it. It feels like tons of positive intent, but you're right.
That's not making it easier for the person who wants the help. Yeah. So what do I do? What do I do?
Camille Rapacz: Well, you go back to step one, which is to be curious. You have to seek out these opportunities where you can actually help with specific things. So you have to start asking, you know, questions about, what's going on with them.
And then you can offer to help with something that you really are good at. You'll hear it. You'll know it. You'll hear them say something. You'll be like, Oh, you're having trouble with that. I could take that one for you. Let me help with this piece of it.
But until you understand what it is that stressing them out in concert with the stuff that they might not want to immediately give away because they feel like they have to own it. They feel like it's their job. You're finding these small ways that you come in and help them with things by just being curious and trying to find out.
Now that doesn't mean that you should never say, how can I help? This usually works well when it's somebody has a well organized plan. So this will work for me, for example, if I'm well organized and I have my plan and I know all the stuff that is supposed to happen as I'm, let's say, setting up for an event.
And if you walked in and you said, How can I help? I could quickly go to look at my list and see what hadn't gotten done yet and say, Can you do this one? That's when it's really easy for me to let you know how you can help just by you asking that question.
Most of the time when people need help, it's because they don't have this level of organization and structure to know what all the things are.
So where they need help is in figuring out where people can actually help them. They haven't had the capacity to even do that. So that's why you have to be a little more thoughtful and curious and thinking about, you know, how am I going to actually help them?
The other part of this is... Getting clear in what you're offered to help will be what specifically you will do is even if you're so I'm going to give this example of when I go in to help people as a consultant, it's clear that I am there to help.
I am your consultant working for this business, working for this client, and everybody knows, like, my job here is to help. I'm going to come and do X type of work. But there's some detail underneath that of what that actually means. And so I make sure that I'm very clear with how I'm going to help with any given team.
So an example would be say, we're going into a meeting and we haven't clarified who's going to run this meeting or this conversation. And I don't assume that it's me, even if. It's most likely me, even if I'm 95 percent sure it's me, because I might be stepping on someone else's toes in that company who sees like their role is to show up as the leader of this thing.
Maybe the way I help them is by helping them with how to lead as opposed to leading it for them.
So that's an example of getting really clear about the form of help I'm going to give. Yes, I'm helping with this meeting, but in what way am I helping by running it?
Am I helping by helping them run it better? What does it actually look like? That's what I mean when I say be clear in what your offer is. Get clarity with that person.
George Drapeau: Makes a lot of sense.
Camille Rapacz: So number four, this is George's favorite.
The counter to being specific and clear is you could just help them on the sly.
Now this does not mean doing work for them or helping them without their knowledge. It doesn't mean that like, I'm just going to secretly go and run this meeting for them or whatever. The idea behind this is that people will often be able to solve their own problems if they just have a chance to think about them more deeply and so this helping them on the slide is just I'm just going to ask some good questions and see if that helps them maybe that helps them clarify their own thinking. So you're not showing up as I'm directly helping, you're just using curiosity as a way to help them.
It's a little bit of like helping them on the sly. Right. Yeah. You're also, when you do that, you're building trust. So you're acknowledging that, they are capable at figuring out whatever it is they're figuring out. And you're just kind of being curious enough to help them along the path. I can also do this by simply saying you're gonna follow up on something like, Hey, I'll, maybe I'll follow up with you later and see how you're doing with that.
Oh yeah. So if somebody is struggling with meeting a deadline or just making good progress and you feel like, Oh, maybe I can offer them a little motivation by just saying, I'm curious enough that I'm going to come back. I want to check with you tomorrow and see how it's going.
This really helps if you are their manager, and you say, I'm going to come check in tomorrow. I want to see how that's going. Not in the, you know, I'm going to come and see if you're making progress way, but in a curious way. And we'll talk about how important the language behind all of this is little bit later in the podcast. Just thinking about how you can do this and provide some indirect help that just feels less threatening to them. I feel like you're good at this George.,
George Drapeau: I think generally, yes, this is my home base.
My mindset is I'm genuinely interested in people. And so I like asking questions about people because I just want to understand them better. And so that technique ends up working really well. I don't really have an agenda of, I need to do something for you.
But my agenda is if you're willing to share stuff with you, we can pick any topic what's on your mind. If you've got that mindset, then it can get you a long way. It's very peaceful. It's non threatening to people. They're really in control of how much they want to share, but they have somebody who's actively interested.
Like an interested friend is just going to ask questions. It may not be my questions, but they'll all be useful questions and it will help them get down a path. And for me, the management technique that that turns into is, I'm not managing by telling you what to do or giving you advice. I'm managing you by asking you questions that could keep your brain self activated and you'll work out your own answers.
And it's really fun to see and make for fun interactions. You could do it over lunch.
Camille Rapacz: Yes. Oh, even better. Even better if you can do it with food. Yeah, I think that's great. And it kind of leads into there's doing it on the sly.
Another this, this number five, number five might be a little bit of a variation on this.
And it's to be collaborative. So offering to team up or partner on something, it kind of levels out the status issue a little bit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm not hoping I'm coming in as like, I'm going to help. It'll help solve a lot of the problems by when you're partnering, you start to then discover how you can help better by being a partner as opposed to a helper.
You're not just saying, how can I help? It's just really teaming up with somebody, you know, I had not
George Drapeau: really. This is great. One of the great things about this podcast. I had not really thought about this, the issue of leveling out power dynamics in a relationship, but that's, yeah, that's exactly what's going on here.
I like the idea of being collaborative for being a buddy is a way to level out the power discrepancy. That's awesome, camille.
Camille Rapacz: It is, I mean, we explored this a bit in that last episode, where a lot of the challenges of helping is that we are challenging the power dynamics where we're challenging the, you know, we have certain levels that we all, are you my subordinate? Are you my peer or are you my senior?
And when you start offering help, it can shift that. That's where we start to also feel some resistance. That's part of the equation. It's not the whole equation, but it's part of the equation and what causes resistance. So yes, this collaborative nature, this I'm going to try and partner to help you can really level the playing field.
Number six, this is the last one: taking the collaborative thing a step further and you asking for their help. So this goes even further into evening out the status issue if that's the issue you're running up against because it demonstrates that you value their expertise and skills.
And so maybe it's, I will help you with X, but I'd love to get your help with this other thing that you're really good at. So even if you are coming in with like we started in the beginning, you really suck at that. So why don't you let me help you with it instead, you could say, Hey, I can help you with this thing that I have more experience in, but I'd love to get your help with this other thing that you have more experience in or that I value your knowledge in, or your approach with.
That's another way that if you're struggling with somebody who's really not wanting to accept and do even at a collaborative level of help, there can just be a little bit of this, what if we just trade help? And it's a way to build trust. You're really starting from the level of, if I do this, it starts to build trust in how we're working together.
George Drapeau: It's got to be genuine though. You got to mean it because I'm, I'm thinking of examples where somebody has done that to me as a technique to manage me. And I think I like, like, know what you're doing here. You don't need to do that. I'm not sure you're being genuine and then you haven't built the trust.
I think this is a great technique, but you have to find something you could stand behind genuinely and do it.
Camille Rapacz: Absolutely. And that literally applies to everything we just said. You can't fake your curiosity. You cannot fake your empathy. You have to genuinely mean all of it. You have to genuinely be curious.
And I think that's really important, even from the curiosity standpoint. Because I know for you, George, you have a hard time imagining not being genuinely curious, but we have all experienced someone who was curious about us and we knew that they had an agenda behind it. And then it wasn't just genuinely wanting to learn more about us.
Same with empathy. Like they're just. They're not saying that they get us, but they don't really get us. They're just trying a force, a connection. So you do have to go through the effort to make this really genuine, to do this for real. These aren't just check boxes and you can just fake your way through them because people will know and you will make it worse.
Yeah. Right. Because then that person, whoever did that to you, you probably like you didn't trust their motivation for anything ever again. Right. Right. And you're like, Ooh, what's behind that? What are they really trying to get out of me?
George Drapeau: Exactly.
Ugh, it's an awful feeling.
Camille Rapacz: Basically, don't be a politician at work.
George Drapeau: Yeah, I agree with you. These last three, I like how they build on each other. They go deeper and deeper. And if you really can genuinely find something in the other person from which you can get their help, that is beautiful.
Camille Rapacz: Yeah. And it won't always work, there may not ever be something, but if there is do that. Because remember, they're giving you a gift by letting you help them. You're the one who's really getting the gift of helping. If you can return the favor and give them the gift of helping you, that's fantastic.
That's when the trust really starts to build. So as we said, you have to do this genuinely. What's behind that is in all of this, your language matters. the words you choose to use. So back to what you were joking about earlier, walking in and saying, you know, you really suck at that task. Yeah. Definitely not the language to use.
George Drapeau: I noticed something you're not particularly good at. One should let me help you with that. You knew that, right?
Camille Rapacz: But I mean, even the sentence that you just said, that sounds very, diplomatic, but there are ways that you can say things that are undermining people that might sound like you're being respectful and direct, but you're really just undermining them.
And they can hear it. They can hear that you have now immediately put them down a level from where you are, and that's not what you want to do. Helping them is automatically making them feel that way. So you don't want to add to it with your language. So I'm curious when you think about this, I feel like this is something you'd be really good at, george is just being good at the way that you talk to people when you're offering to help them. And you've brought some of this up in some past episodes So, of course, now it'll probably be hard for you to think of them because I'm actually asking you to think about them, but let's talk about, like, what are some of the ways that we can use language in all of these examples? Whatever you're trying to do, whether it's trying to just be curious, or I'm like, what kind of language do we use that feels more genuine than other language?
George Drapeau: Talking about perspective is a thing that is a go to thing for mine. Like, hey, we've got a document to review before we give it for the big boss. Could I offer a different perspective? Something like that. Hearing what somebody else thinks about it, not even really help.
It's being collaborative, offering that. And they could say, yeah, no, I think I'm good. Okay. That's, that's fine. But you've already put on the record that there's only one perspective being represented in the thing that they produced. And so if later on the feedback is not good, they must say this, like to shame them or blame them.
But then when they get bad feedback from their audience, they won't be surprised anymore. Like, Oh, wow maybe if I got it, somebody else taking another pair of eyes, looking at this as another phrase, like another pair of eyes, another pair of ears to hear what's, what's going on. Would you like me to take the perspective of the audience of what you're doing?
Camille Rapacz: I like the word perspective because it feels non threatening. It's just more information for you. You could do whatever you want with it. But it's just more information that you can use in whatever way you want to improve your thing.
So yeah, I like that. I like the use of that word in particular..
George Drapeau: It's very peaceful.
Camille Rapacz: Yeah, I think to just the focus on anything that you're asking. It also helps if you're just asking some open ended questions, things they can't say yes or no to. it could be this looks great. What would it look like if it were to make it better.? What does better look like to you?
Yeah. And let them start talking.
George Drapeau: There's , another opening I use sometimes. Let's say you're in a meeting with the person to be helped and somebody else and the person to be helped is innervated. They've gotten really upset by something. Clearly, something's gone wrong and they could use somebody to talk to about it, or maybe they went off the handle.
They behave that something happened. Clearly, they need some kind of help. So what I used to say is something along the lines of, hey, in that meeting that you really seemed upset. Something seems wrong. Do you want to talk about it? Which I think is not bad, but I realized that even that opening assumption comes across as aggressive to some people.
So my question now is, hey, did you have thoughts about the meeting? How do you think that went? How'd you feel about it? And maybe if I want to point out the thing that I thought upset the person, I said, like, to me, there was interaction you had with somebody else that seemed like it was particularly animated to me, but I don't know if I'm reading it the same way you're reading it.
How did you read that? Like, no, I didn't notice a thing. We can have a discussion about that. Or if they said, yeah, man, that person really pissed me off. Like, well, do you want to talk about that? So, I'm even more gentle now than I used to be. I don't even go in with the underlying assumption like, yeah, you seemed angry.
Do you want to talk about that? Cause maybe they didn't feel like they were angry.
Camille Rapacz: Yeah. I think this is really such a good example of sometimes we feel like our need to be like direct and clear with people. And we mistake that for, I have now just planted ideas in your head.
I've just leapt to some assumptions by the statement that I made. And so you're describing a: what if I take my assumptions out of the question? I'm still going to get the result I want to get, which is, I want to see if I can help this person by offering them a place to talk about what just happened if they need it.
But I'm going to go into it, not assuming I'm right about what just happened. It's back to that, we might have two different perceptions and walk away with two different ideas about this experience we had , even though we were in the same meeting. And this is where sometimes our own ego gets in the way of like, Oh, I know what just happened.
Yeah. Open, instead of doing, like, I love that you have this more open ended, you know, way of approaching it, where the door's open to talk about this if you need to. I'm here to hear all of it, not assuming what happened. Or even you just sharing, like, I have a certain perception, but I don't know if I saw that right, read that right.
The nice thing about you saying it that way is you're asking them to help you. I don't know if I read that right. Tell me what you saw. And that's a much easier way to open the door to that kind of helping conversation.
George Drapeau: Yeah, that's right. This brings up a cultural thing for me, by the way. I absolutely mean that question genuinely like that because sometimes my emotional sensibilities in some ways are very sensitive.
I mean, I can take a lot, but in some ways they're very sensitive. So I might be in a meeting where I'm hearing two people talking and I cringe hearing how they're talking to each other. Because my style of conflict is different than theirs. And maybe their style of conflict is fine with them, but the kind that I cannot stand.
And so like, I make, I'll ask one of the people, like, Hey, here's how I read the situation. Am I getting that and they're like, no, no, no. We do this all the time. This didn't bother me. There was trust us. I'm going to be like, wow, really? Because that would just, I mean, I've got knots in my stomach just thinking about you two talking about it.
And like, no, no, honestly, that's cool. We had a beer afterwards. It's true. My sensibilities really are different in some ways. And so it's valid for me to ask, did I read this right?
Camille Rapacz: Yeah.
George Drapeau: Sometimes no.
Camille Rapacz: Yes. It's true. I do think that there's different people and sometimes people will talk about this as like East Coast, West Coast just within the United States and then you go outside of that into other countries.
There's a whole other way of people interacting. So there are cultural differences and that's not just company culture. That's like worldwide culture and influences and how people interact. So it is important to sort of understand that and respect how different people interact. And this is where really knowing your team and, you know, how they sort of perceive all of these things is important as well.
But it's also why it is important to not make assumptions and to go into these things and be curious about those interactions. Be curious about how people are experiencing things as opposed to just assuming that, well, if that was me in that instance, I know I would have hated it, but that doesn't mean that other person that that might've been the highest sign of respect for them.
Absolutely. That's a good example. Yeah. I'm like you where I'm like, Oh, I don't want to do it, but I'm okay doing it like with clients and like reading it and doing it with them. But when it's in my own space, it's, yeah, I don't want to do it. So interesting. So language matters. That's really the point of this is think about, am I making assumptions with the question that I'm asking, or am I really being genuinely curious in the way that I'm trying to approach this person to help them.
This doesn't mean I hope people aren't thinking like, oh, my gosh, you've just made me helping people so much more complicated. This isn't all scenarios, but we are trying to offer you a way to work with people who tend to resist getting help from you.
so That could be anybody in your life, on your team, your, you know, any, anybody that you're thinking about there, you might be walking into a scenario where they're going to resist getting help from you... this is a way to think through that, a way to walk through that. And I think it's a skill that anybody who's leading a team who is a manager of people really needs to know how to do these things because you're always going to run into resistance somewhere.
And you want to be able to coach your team on how to do it for each other as well. How do I help my team work with each other by having these same skills so that they're not always coming to you, but that they're able to work through these things on their own, yeah.
So with that, I think I just want people to go out and try it. Try one of these things. Find a place where you're struggling a little bit and give it a try and then, let us know how it goes.
Oh, I definitely want to hear about that. Go do it, please. I really want stories. We want data. We want telemetry. We want
stories. I know. We don't tell us stories.
So you guys know what to do. Well, if you've been listening to the podcast, you know what to do if you're new. All you have to do is go to thebeliefshift. com and there'll be a little widget where you can leave us a voicemail. We want to hear from you. Tell us a story or I mean, if there's topics that you wish that we would talk about that we haven't, we'd love to hear about that too.
So leave us a voicemail, but also if you are looking for some support in your business, for your team, for your leadership get a free consultation with me.
Maybe you're trying to plan for 2024 and you're thinking about getting some support for you and your team. Now is a good time to do that. And you can do that by going to CamilleRapacz.com/bookacall. I'll also put these links in the show notes.
I will also put these six things in the show notes as well so that you can go back and revisit them because you were probably either walking your dog or driving to work while you're listening to this and couldn't take notes. So I will drop them in the show notes for you. Awesome. And that's all I have. Anything else, George?
George Drapeau: No, this was fun. Thank you so much. This is good help for me as usual.
I get free consulting people!
Camille Rapacz: I know you really do. I was thinking I should start charging you, but then maybe you should start charging me for your time. Yeah. Let's not get into it. We will be back in your ears next week.
George Drapeau: See you soon, everybody.
